Mother’s Day is a day that resonates the most with those whose mothers have left this earth. Some of them, without reserve, tell those of us who still have our mothers: “I miss my mother, you’re very lucky to still have yours, so go and tell her that you love her right now, keep conveying your appreciation of her existence. You don’t know how good you have it. One day, the fact that you won’t be able to tell her anymore will kill you.”
I cannot fathom the immense pain they must feel when they say that, or how much their encouragement for me to actually “go and tell my mother that I love her” is meant as a demand rather than an invitation. However, I can tell that, to them, the act of uttering the words of advice for me to make audible my declaration of love to my mother feels unsatisfying and empty. Why? Because they have been pretty much let down by word-limitations of any spoken language.
How can one describe the void of a parent’s parting with words rather than animalistic gut-wrenching noises? Explaining it with words is rude, too human for the Godliness of the feeling. Th loss and yearning blooms like an aurora in all chakras, through all the veins, mixing into all bodily fluids and seeping into all the functioning organs. I can imagine that the words used to idolise the missing warmth of mothers gone are a confinement to their maternal sunshine, rather than a means for its’ release, for words cannot measure the vastness of their light.
I always felt self-conscious in asking you mothers the following question at the risk of sounding ridiculous, but I will jeapordize the good head on my shoulders that your eyes see and ask you anyway: How do you survive your daily life with so much love to give? Just because, with love comes worry, comes the fear of leaving your loved ones, grows the terror of losing them. How do you survive it? Daily? Where do you stash the worry as you do all that you do? ‘Hoping for the best’ is on a whole other level for you mothers! You are fascinating.
It is a gift of procreation that is so extraordinarily powerfully beautiful and I am apprehensive to be entitled with such a superior gift for fear of not being able to handle its magnitude. I would be lucky, regardless, if I am blessed with it.
Hats off to you procreators, especially those that have suffered or are currently suffering from having to leave their children for reasons beyond their control.
To all my mom friends, my sisters, my aunts, to my own mother and the source of her motherhood, her mother, and to the fathers who took the responsibility of also being a mother: Happy Mother’s Day. While others celebrate you mothers, I think of those who have lost their mothers or even worse, are estranged from them. I wish them a much HAPPIER MOTHER’S DAY. CAPS LOCK INTENDED.
Please be joyful on this commercial day.
I wish a Happy Every Day to those true mothers and fathers to their inner nostalgic children. To each of you who parents their inner child in ways incomprehensible to most people out there, in ways rarely celebrated and mostly pitied. I do not pity you.
Instead, when I feel lost, I turn to you. Because it is you who knows pain and the our meaning of loss, as well as the true meaning of parenting a helpless soul. You, who lost your parent, you have become a parent on that day. I commemorate your struggles to parent yourself and your wondrous ways to tackle everyday when you are always homesick, even in your own house. I commemorate the necessary endless attempts to restore and reactivate in your heart what your departed parent(s) instilled in you, a feeling unique to you alone, a feeling that cannot be repeated or imitated or acted out ever again.
Today is a day for you to celebrate your significance as a parent. You are the best mother you know. You are the closest thing to a replica of the unabridged love you mother gave you when she was physically in your life and what she continues to give you now that she spiritually remains in it. It’s in all your chakras, in all your veins, in all your organs – like an aurora. Happy Mother’s Day, Every Single Day, to You!
Beisan A. Alshafei
March 21st, 2019
Beisan's Burble 