Love and Polarity

When I love you, I love all of you, in a non-chronological way that suspends me in a time warp. I don’t only love that part, or this one, that pours on me a plethora of sunlight. I conjointly love the dark shadow, splayed on the gravel behind me, that your brilliant imposing light shackles to my heels to mirror also the worst in me, besides the very best. I love the adrenaline charged walk in your pitch black windowless corridors, my eyes as wide as that of a mad huntress adjusting to your kind of merciless dark, aiming at nothing and everything. I love the wistful epilogues to the mysterious chapters of your story, they lead me to the solitariness of ancient library desks on which stacks of many-worded books failed to have recognised the substance of your particular machination. I love the chaotic polarity of loving you. For without it there would no opposing charges that separate between what makes me, me, and what makes you, you. And without that separateness, no energy and light would be generated to illuminate what makes us, us.

_{Beisan A. Alshafei}

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This piece was written from Via Alla Sguancia, 21, 6912 Pazzallo, Lugano-Ticino, Switzerland. 2010. On the balcony of my apartment on the 8th floor: Monte Salvatore is looking down on me to my left, Grancia town peaks among the trees to my right. My then boyfriend, now husband, was on the 7th floor below me. I was thinking of our differences more than our similarities that day. We had a fight about that. I fell in love with him more after writing this. I told him, he smiled and invited me for sushi in Ristorante Tokyo in Como, Italy, that night. But we never made it. We watched a movie I could not get into and then argued some more about our differences. I am thankful that nothing much changed between us today. Your differences intrigue me. Your being my complete polar opposite makes you ever so powerful in my heart, mean Schatz. I am always busy figuring you out and I appreciate how you know how to turn my anticipation to be more energising than draining.